Yesterday there I was just going with the flow of having the op and not overthinking things, but now today I’m full of questions. Like will I bleed after ? Is it going to make sexy time different ? Will it still feel the same and will that desire still be there ? I suppose maybe compiling a short list wont hurt and I wont seem too crazy. I was trying to think of people I may know that have had it done and all I could think of was my mum and she doesn’t remember much, I could also ask Jerry (chat gpt) however now I’ve made it a him it would be a bit weird and I would really like to know from women that have been through this experience, not an AI that doesn’t even know what its like to have genitals of any description.
I am also so busy with this ‘nesting’ I’m not finding the time to physically prepare myself. I wanted to be doing daily asana practice, mantra and breathe work to recalibrate my whole nervous system but it’s like I have this ADHD persona coming to the surface and cannot sit still. It’s either the reduction in tablets unmasking what had been suppressed for a very long time or the thought I am going to have to sit still and behave myself for a considerable length of time. I have a queue of people at this point waiting in-line to give me a lecture about my health because I’m always doing it to them. I’m going to end up feeling like a puppy dog that has to be shut in a cage overnight that isn’t toilet trained yet and has to have one of those puppy pads on the floor, I mean will I need to have my own puppy pad while my bladder is going through its own recovery, another question on the list.
Tomorrow will be another day getting life into some sort of order and will probably involve another list. Oh I made another list of the contents of the freezer today and discovered I had 16 giant hotdog sausages and 12 small ones, we don’t even eat sausages that often so no clue how that happened, probably not taking a bloody list shopping is how. Menopause madness, it actually brings me joy in a peculiar way 😀
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