padmaspath

That’s not even a joke my brain has been functioning like that for ages, me and my friend Mel, of 40 years joke and say together we make up a whole person. She’s the yang to my yin and both our energies match those attributes. We actually celebrate our 40 years anniversary of friendship in just over a week and I don’t know what I would do without her. She’s been my constant over the years, an effortless pairing, we can sit in silence or talk for hours and if I don’t see her for a couple of weeks we just pick up where we left off. Well, we try to but we have normally forgotten what’s happened in that space in between seeing each other with our 50% functioning brains.

Menopause madness I call it, I spend more time laughing about it than getting upset or cranky, I do find myself doing some crazy shit at times. It’s no joke when you hear about putting the coffee in the fridge and the milk in the cupboard or walk around in circles trying to remember what you were supposed to be doing. My life consists of lists and lists for lists. My husband is forever saying can you remind me…… I’m like er jay put it on my list if I can remember where it is and it will get done, if you don’t then no chance. Actually there is one thing that makes me cranky and that’s, ‘oh its your menopause’, not everything is down to the f****** menopause and it drives me utterly wild hearing that.

So adenomyosis is my reason for having the op, could have endometriosis who knows till they go and take a look. I was diagnosed about 5 years ago when I was bleeding excessively, it was bloody awful (literally, I do say things without thinking first and then they become quite funny). Have a coil they said it will help control it, well that’s utter rubbish, that doesn’t stop it growing at all. We will give you oestrogen for your other symptoms, fantastic for the hot flushes that has been, however it also likes to feed the adenomyosis!

I don’t think anyone really knows at this precise time I mean this is women’s health and we are still living, (mmm maybe not living more surviving) in a mans world and science for women’s health needs to start running like Adaejah Hodge does. Even spell check on here doesn’t seem to know how to spell adenomyosis, it’s that far behind.

I have had horrific nerve pain and tremors running down my legs now for the past few years and I’m still in the belief that this is all due to the tissue growing, especially when I’m feeding it 3 pumps of oestrogen gel daily. There are so many things unspoken about in regards to all this and as I go further through my daily ramblings I hope it helps even a few people to feel understood, not alone, be able to laugh about their crazy menopause madness brain, to feel comfortable in between crying and laughing intermittently and to actually feel some kind of normal. I mean this is the new normal right now, I have not got any kind of clue how I’m going to feel after this operation, I do know my husband will be quite upset if I don’t ever have a hot flush again as he finds them utterly hilarious, apparently because of the noises I make, so easily amused he is. There I am about to birth my womb and enter this amazing period (I have to stop using that word) of my wise woman years and he is regressing back to the age of a 5 year old, something doesn’t feel right there does it in comparison 🤣